Client Testimonials

"I was going to steal a penguin from the zoo. He told me penguins bite and require distinct climate control. I stole a hamster instead. 5 Stars." — Sticky Fingers Steve

"He pointed out that 'The Butler Did It' is not a valid legal defense if I do not have a butler. Saved me 10-to-life." — Anonymous

"I wanted to rob a bank using a banana in my pocket. He reminded me that banks have 4K cameras and guards with real guns. I am now a baker." — Bread Pitt